October is largely defined by a food holiday on the very last day of the month. I don’t even need to name the date for you to start seeing pumpkins, ghouls, and witches, alongside mountains upon mountains of candy in various forms. Still, you might want to brace for the sugar crash at the end of the month with thirty other days of quality eating.
October 1
World Vegetarian Day is made rather easy, sharing the beginning of Pudding Season, and Homemade Cookies Day. It may not be healthy vegetarian living, but stocking up on pudding and cookies should easily not include meat.
October 2
Obviously, National Fried Scallops Day is crafted by the scallop cartel in an attempt to fight the forces of Aquaman. It couldn’t just be a day where you take sea scallops, something you may or may not eat with regularity (based purely on your locale), and pan fry them up. American’s don’t like to fry everything, not at all, and taking vaguely healthy seafood and frying it in butter isn’t something we’re regular promoters of.
October 3
You may ask yourself, “how do I work this?”. You may ask yourself, “where is that large automobile?” You may tell yourself, “this is not my beautiful house.” You may tell yourself, “this is not my beautiful wife.” You may tell yourself, “this is National Caramel Custard Day“. You may ask yourself, “What is a caramel custard?”. I may tell you, “It’s basically flan, and stop with the Talking Heads schtick.”
October 4
This might be the best day in the month, outside of Halloween, combining National Taco Day and Vodka Day. Nobody can complain about a good taco, and while tequila might be a better, if not more appropriate, combination with tacos, the combination of tacos and vodka will lead to wildly fun night. October 4th is a Thursday this year, so don’t get too loaded up on tacos that you’ll miss work on Friday.
October 5
The Reagan’s loved Apple Brown Betty in the white house. In 2003, an jazz album came out named Apple Brown Betty. On Fringe, a specific strain of marijuana, “Brown Betty”, lead to a musical episode. We’ll just suggest eating a nice Apple Brown Betty on National Apple Betty Day and not encourage anything else.
October 6
Pasta, ramen, even s’mores: if you can find the food in noodle form, make sure to slurp, spin, and suck it down. Watch Lady and the Tramp if you want. National Noodle Day is designed for such actions.
October 7
What, in fact, is a Frappe? It’s a milkshake to New Englanders, the Italian name for “angel wings”, and with an accent, it’s a type of coffee or shaved iced. Add a -uccino to the end, and you’ve got something Starbucks promotes for National Frappe Day.
October 8
This day is double disastrous for your waistline, as it’s both National Fluffernutter Day and National Pierogi Day. What’s a Fluffernutter? It’s a sandwich with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. Pierogi? They’re basically Polish wontons, gyoza, or even Pizza Bites; small bites of dough with various fillings; in this case, mashed potatoes, fried onions, cheese, cabbage, and the like, instead of crab, pizza or chicken.
October 9
You might be hard-pressed to find a Subway that has blue cheese, but if you can, make sure to put that on your $5 Footlong. Moldy Cheese Day and Submarine/Hoagie/Hero/Grinder/Whatever Your Region Calls It Day combine into a pretty tasty pair; I’d suggest roast beef to go with the meat.
October 10
This is a simple, if bland, day. National Angel Food Cake Day is October 10th. A very simple cake, it’s a little better if you add a bit of some fruit or whipped topping. If you’re feeling particularly demonic, go for it’s opposite, the yin to it’s yang; Devil’s Food Cake.
October 11
While pepperoni tends to be the default, you’re encouraged to stretch out of your comfort zone on National Sausage Pizza Day. Sure, it’s still an Italian meat, and it’s common enough that you’ve likely had it before, but just take this time to remember that there are other pizzas out there.
October 12
Gumbo is delicious, but doesn’t include eggs. You could theoretically combine the two (for National Gumbo Day and World Egg Day), but that might not be a good idea. Unless… you could do some form of a breakfast gumbo, swapping in hash browns instead of rice, breakfast sausage instead of andouille sausage… That might actually work.
October 14
October 14th is National Chocolate Covered Insects Day. Do with that what you will. If you skip it, nobody will complain, outside of Andrew Zimmern.
October 15
We’re going fancy in the middle of the month. National Chicken Cacciatore Day and Roast Pheasant Day might be an overload of our feathered friends in one day, so you might just want to choose one day to celebrate over the other.
October 16
World Food Day has been established to highlight and spread awareness of the importance food has to the world for socilogical means, usually encouraging people to ensure no lack of food shortages in the world, and to guarantee continued food production for the future. National Liqueur Day has been established to highlight and spread awareness of the importance liqueur has to the world for sociological means, usually encouraging people to ensure no lack of liqueur shortages in the world, and to guarantee continued happiness for the future.
October 17
Prunes will load you up on fiber, and certain pastas can do the same. I wouldn’t suggest topping what you’ll make for National Pasta Day with Four Prunes Day (why the day is numerically at four, the world will never know). Still, combine these two days, and never stray too far from the facilities, as it were.
October 18
You were vaguely healthy the day before. Reward yourself with National Chocolate Cupcake Day.
October 22
Nuts, nuts, the musical legume, the more you eat, the more you… bloom? Okay, no, that’s not the infamous jingle. Not all nuts are legumes; many are fruits. In either situation, load up on a good handfull of peanuts, pecans, pistachios, and more. Usually, they’re good for you. National Nut Day is a day to celebrate the batches by the handful.
October 24
The only real way to eat bologna (or “wide hot dogs”, as they effectively are) is to cut a slit radius and pan-fry it up. Toss it on some bread with mustard and a piece of yellow American cheese, and you have the only way to eat a bologna sandwich for National Bologna Day. A side of Good and Plenties (for Good and Plenty Day) makes it a meal that children of a forgotten era would enjoy.
October 25
Slide as much food down your gullet as you can, as it’s National Greasy Food Day. The geraiser, the easier it is to slide down. If a bag is see-through from the amount of grease in it, you’ve reached critical mass for the day.
October 26
You may not want to eat a lot of food after National Greasy Day, but October 26th is full of holidays. Pumpkin Day should be easy; hollow out a pumpkin for Halloween, and use the flesh in a dish, such as pumpkin pie. Pretzel Day just means simply opening a bag of pretzels, but it’s always nice to go to the mall for one of the eighteen pretzel stands in the consumer mecca. Mince Meat Pie Day celebrates something largely unheard of in America, but basically think of a savory chicken pot pie with meat instead of chicken.
October 27
Here’s a good combo; National Potato Day and American Beer Day. Potatoes are great at absorbing alcohol, and beer is great at, well… being alcohol to absorb. Make a big loaded potato, french fries, tater tots, and more. Pair it with a home brew India Pale Ale, stout, or even a store-bought Bud Light. My favorite combination? Yuengling (the oldest brewing company still around in America) throughout the night, and Waffle House hashbrowns (scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked, naturally) to prevent any sort of hangover. It’s scientifically proven!
October 29
You’re probably going to have a horrible diet the next few days. Prepare for the incoming storm, and be nutritious to your body on National Oatmeal Day. According to reports, oatmeal’s fiber has cancer-fighting properties, can reduce LDL cholesterol, and consumers of oatmeal are less likely to have heart disease. For people of a certain generation, though, the best oatmeal was the one with the fruit “gel” (that’s all it really could be described as) that you wrote or drew on your bowl of oatmeal with. Unhealthy, but delicious.
October 31
It’s one of the biggest food-focused holidays of the year. While Halloween might be all about the candy (especially for children), don’t forget to try to snag a candy apple (for National Candy Apple Day), and if you want to help the world, Trick or Treat For UNICEF Day can always use help.
